Your whole world changes. I was wandering around Sam's Club tonight, and my cell rang. "Is this Jo?" "Uh huh", I responded. "Hi, my name is Little Bird, I am your son's sister". Suddenly everything shifted. A name, a voice, a child. Death, loss, reconnection, sorrow, and joy, all wrapped into just a few words.
They were so disappointed to find out we didn't have another brother, they had heard we did. The state had called us when the little brother was born, but we had our hands full with Little Man, and knew we could not provide that level of care for another child. So we said no. And that quick, a child blew away in the winds of state care, and no one knows where he is. The people who do know, don't care. The people who care, don't know.
We are taking Little Man on Friday to meet his birth family. I was very clear in communicating to them that Little Man won't fully understand who they are. It is fine with us if they tell him everything, if they want him to call Little Bird his sister, I know it doesn't matter much to our boy, but it is the world to them. Who knew I would be grateful the level of his understanding being low would be a comfort to me someday? Knowing all he cares about is that they are nice to him, he will accept them as family without hesitation, and I hope for them, it brings comfort and closure.
Little Bird said, "is his hair wavy like mine?" My heart was pierced to the core with the longing encompassed in those words.
Yes, Little Bird, his hair is wavy like yours.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
And That Quick
Posted by
Jo
at
8:04 PM
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Wow. I hope all goes well!
Brought me to tears. I have told you before that you are amazing and I mean it! He is blessed to have you and they are blessed you have him. And because I know what you will say . . . yes, Jo, you are blessed beyond measure to be his mom!
Jo, I will be thinking about you!
Hope that little man gets a lot out of the connections he makes with his birth family. Good luck and hope things go smoothly.
You are so compassionate Jo. Little Man is SOOOOO lucky to have you and the Bald Man. I hope it all goes well!! You are AMAZING!!
Prayers for you all. You are such a good mom and such a good woman.
I'm puddle too. Dang.
You truly are an amazing woman! Just amazing! I hope ALL goes well!
Oh, I'm so glad they'll get to see Little Man and his wavy hair. This was a wonderful post to read. Best wishes to all of you.
Take TONS of pictures.
Tears here, too.
My sister is adopted and wants SO much to know where she came from.
What a moving post. I hope things go well with Little Man and Little Bird.
Wow, Jo. My heart breaks for that entire family. I cannot imagine what it is like to have your blood scattered to the winds.
Your generosity toward them is truly commendable. I will be thinking of you all this Friday and hoping the reunion brings a sense of closure and completion to his birth family.
Do you ever read Problem Girl?
She has an adopted son who has autism and had a dilemma recently about his birth family wherein she wrestled with some of the same questions.
http://newbabynews.blogspot.com/2009/01/by-seat-of-our-pants.html
I think Little Man will be lucky to have some extra people to love him! One of the things I've learned from my "family" is that family members don't necessarily need clear labels. My family is a patched-together mess of adoptions, stepparent-adoptions, brotha-from-anotha-motha's, cousins-in-laws, and people like me who just showed up and never left! Little Man is wise to know that the most important thing is that these newfound additions to his family are nice to him! ANd Little Bird sounds so sweet!
I got chills. I hope the meeting goes perfectly. What a lucky boy to have a mom like you.
Oh, wow! I hope all goes well for Little Man and for Little Bird's sake.
Susie's comment above was exactly what I was going to say! So, Ditto to Susie what Susie said.
Good luck to you and to little man tomorrow! I hope everything goes okay.
Thinking about you today and the meeting. Praying all goes well.
This is astonishing. I so hope it all goes well.
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