Sunday, November 23, 2008

Ingratitude, In Which Jo Complains

My 500th Post!!! Can you believe it? And I choose to whine. It is my blog and I am kind of a big deal here, so I can whine if I want to!

The boy, due to his insane food allergies, (milk, soy, eggs, oranges) has to be on an insanely expensive formula. Some of you newer readers might not know my son has a feeding tube placed into his stomach where we pump in the insanely expensive formula to help him grow. His formula is made by Neocate company. It costs 80.00 for a case of 15 little envelopes, (60grams) which ends up being 5.33 an envelope, which is about 88 cents a GRAM! So an envelope is about 2oz. That is over 5 bucks for 2oz. One case lasts him just 5 days. Which means he is going through 6 cases a month to the tune of 480$. A pretty penny to say the least. We happened to end up with some extras due to a long story you don't want to hear. I happened to know that a child who lives here in Utah, and goes to Sick Kids R Us is on the very same formula. I emailed his mom and offered about 400$ worth of free formula. Their insurance isn't as good as Little Man's, so they are heavily in debt and things are tough. The mom answered yes, but would be unable to meet me and could I just drop it off at their doctor's office in SLC? It was doable, we were on our way to a doctor's appt in another part of town, and we were also going to the zoo that day. I felt good about being able to help out a fellow parent struggling to do their best under some difficult circumstances.
The dropoff did not go well, because the other mom had given me incorrect information for the location of the doctor's office. It was a bit of hassle, because I left my other kids and my grandchildren waiting in the car while I was searching for the office. But, still, I felt okay about it.
I knew they had an appt with the doctor two days later in the office where I left the formula for their convenience, because her child is physically much harder to transport than Little Man.
I waited to get an email back saying they had received the formula. And waited and waited. A week passed. I finally sent her an email asking if they had gotten the formula, I was worried, because I hadn't heard from her. I finally got an email back. Oh yeah, they had gotten it, and by the way, thanks.
WHAT THE HECK? This particular mother is always blogging about how hard things are for them financially because of their disabled child's needs. I felt bad about it because Little Man's insurance is pretty good and we had extra of the same formula they end up paying out of pocket for.
Really, in this information age, it doesn't take a minute to squeeze off a thank you note in the email, thanking someone for a gift worth hundreds of dollars. Doesn't even cost a penny for postage and you don't even have to walk to the mailbox and leave your kid to do it. She couldn't be bothered. Chaps my hide. I thought, and still think she was rude beyond rude. We have extra formula this month again. Guess who I will NOT be contacting to see if they need it? She doesn't read my blog, if I knew she did, I wouldn't post this, but she doesn't, and if by chance she wanders by someday, maybe she will learn something. Rude does not pay.

17 Kids Who Want To Play:

Lorie said...

Outnumbered, Out

Kristina P. said...

Wow, how ungrateful!

Soxy Deb said...

Ridiculous Jo. I don't blame you. Not like you were asking her to throw you a ticker tape parade for crying out loud. How hard is it to just say thanks without having to have it pulled out of you? Just a shame.

Yondalla said...


I appreciate you.

K J and the kids said...

I'm sorry she wasn't more gracious.
I always try to think that maybe she had a few bad weeks. Or maybe she's not good at donations.

I guess we have to ask you donate to do good for others, or do you donate to make yourself feel good about donating to others ? If you are truly doing it for a slefless reason then it shouldn't matter if she even knows who donated it and wouldn't be able to give you a proper thank you. That you helped another person in need is all that matters.

Although I do think she should have thanked you ;-)

My mother does an annonymous 12 days of Christmas every year. They never do find out who does it. It's the best fun we have all year. Planning and secretly getting the gifts to them. She always spends lots and goes all out trying to make it as much fun as she can.

Laura in L.A. said...

Jo, you are a kind, generous and thoughtful person. Sometimes that has to be its own reward! :):)

I feel sorry for that other mom, because she doesn't know how to work to change her luck. If she was considerate to you, you might have been willing to help her anytime you had extra formula. She would have changed her luck. Some people really don't get that. Sad for her child--who knows what else her behavior is causing them to miss out on?

Love, Laura

Caustic Cupcake said...

She was so rude that I feel like slapping her. However, this reminds me exactly of the time I took my nephew on an unfamiliar city bus to drop him off with his mother.

The bus was long enough to have two doors, and when the time came for us to get off, the door wouldn't open. I was late. The bus was packed. It was rush hour. I was wrestling a bawling 2-year-old who didn't want to get off the bus, a diaper bag, a bookbag, and a stroller. I was mortifyingly aware that I was holding up the entire bus by not getting off, looking around frantically for a button or a switch or something to make the f#$%ing door open, hissing at the baby to stop it as he tried to drop to the floor of the bus and everyone watched me, murmuring to each other as I kept standing there like an idiot.

One woman sitting near where I was standing quietly told me, just loudly enough for me to hear, that I had to step down onto the first step for the door to open. And as I grabbed the screaming kid under one arm and stepped down (the door thankfully opening immediately), I looked away from her, feigning annoyance and anger simply to keep from crying.

I couldn't even bother to take half a second to say thanks. One word. I didn't say it.

She will never know how much it meant to me.

Jillene said...

Very ungratful!! But just think of the blessings you will receive for your thoughtfulness!!

Rychelle said...

that type of behavior really bothers me too.

sorry it happened to you!

Dots said...

Wow... 500th post.. congratulations!

The Boob Nazi said...

I KNOW! Just one thank you note could make you seem normal slash that you have manners. That was badly phrased, I'm sorry.

Me said...

First of all..congrats on the 500th post. That is quite the milestone.

Secondly, I am sorry that your gracious giving and service went without a simple THANK YOU. That I don't understand. I know life can be hectic..but seriously. On her behalf- THANK YOU JO! For being the good person you are!

Jillybean said...

The least she could have done was to let you know she got it, especially after all the work you went through to get it to her.
At least the child will benefit from what you did.

Teresa said...

Jo, you more than went out of your way; not only to offer the free formula, but also to drive all over town to personally deliver it. I have only met you once, but I could tell you were the kind of person who would do something like that.
I feel sorry for people who are so absorbed in their own self-pity that they can't see beyond it. They will receive help and support only to a limited extent - people will grow tired and weary of the negativism.
I didn't know that you had a son requiring this extent of care. God bless you. You are an amazing mother.

Holly said...

I know someone much like this. Sorry you had to deal with it. it's hard because it isn't about doing a good thing for someone or even wanting to be acknowledged for the deed itself, but rather for the effort you went to in a life that is already difficult to make it easier for the other family, not so much the actual formula which was no skin off your back, but the facilitating of getting it to her when you have Little Man to get too and fro and a life just as full of it's own challenges. It's more the acknowledgement of those challenges I think you are looking for as you went out of your way to make this easy for her.

Ambitious Blonde said...

Congrats on post number 500, babe!

I can't believe the gall of the woman you gave that formula too. Her ingratitude positively turns my stomach, which honestly doesn't take a lot today but you know what I'm saying.

WV: Blena. Do something nice for HER again? Ble! Na!

Susie said...

You know, it doesn't take much to send a quick email and say, thank you. I will never understand some people.