Ya know? I am pretty strong, and generally upbeat in the face of a lot of crap. But not today.
I have been wanting/needing to blog, but haven't had a moment lately. Little Man got booted out of another summer program, we had a person working with him, but she quit with no notice on Monday. That means I have had him, 24/7 for almost a week.
Know what I have done this week?
laundry-2 loads took me all day
anything else I wanted to do?-0
(except for Saturday, we did get respite, thank goodness, it is the one shining moment in a dump truck load of manure)
The boy is foul, foul, foul. Screaming, disobedient, defiant, ugly, name calling, violent. I have gotten punched in the face, been screamed at pretty much all day, every day.
We are working with his pyschiatrist, pediatrican, a therapist, a behavior therapist, case manager, and anyone else we could pull in to get some help with what is going on with our boy. Things are bad, very, very bad.
It has been a LONG, LONG day. I was already pretty fed up and not very happy, or patient.
Cherry on a crap sundae?
Bald Man just kicked my laptop off the bedside table. Laptop no longer works. I want to run away, I want to scream and kick and swear, I want to escape all of this. And it seems when things are the worst with the boy, when I really need a break, when I am having a really hard time holding it together, is when we have no help and at this point, little hope.
Things have been rough since Feb and seriously? I don't have it in me to be brave, or cheery or anything.
Send me some love notes, I really, really need them right now.
Sunday, July 04, 2010