Friday, February 06, 2009

And Then I Cried

Crazy day today. I had to drive to Salt Lake to exchange my hubby's cell phone that wasn't working, and in general just do a ton of errands. On my way home I stopped to see Little Man's baby sister. I am so glad we know where she is and that we can see her whenever we want, but going there breaks my heart. On so many levels.
First level: The grief over her life. She had a serious birth injury, and while she certainly had illegal drugs in her system, the birth injury was not the birth mother's fault. Seeing this little girl, laying in a crib, almost totally unresponsive just kills me. I wonder so many things when I see her. She is completely vent dependent and is fed by, guess what? A g-tube. Insert ironic laughter. Ha ha, they are tube twins. Why does that hurt? She doesn't have a mama, and she doesn't get to live in a home where she is adored.
And the second level. This baby girl is so neglected. Not by the care place, they take care of her physical needs, she is clean, dressed, her curly hair in a pony tail. But she has nothing! She has no beautiful blankets, she has no toys, nothing in her crib to stimulate what brain function she has. I guess this is what happens when both sides of your family are struggling with serious poverty. I asked the nurses what she needed and they said clothes and hair detangler! I asked about toys, they did say music and something like a crib music player. But they said she needed clothes much more. I can do nothing about my first level of grief, but I can do something about the second. So I am hunting at my local second hand kid's places, looking for toys, for things to help this little darling. If any of you feel like you would like to help her, she is wearing a 3T. She is partially blind and partially deaf, but needs toys to help stimulate her on any level. She can't touch a toy to make it work, so she needs things that basically go on their own. If you want to help, drop me an email, lakotajo2 at msn dot com and you have two choices. You can either mail them to me, or if you live locally and would like to meet this precious little girl, it can be arranged too. I can't do this by myself, but with your help, this little girl will get what she needs and what she deserves.
I kissed her little hand goodbye today, the hand that looks so much like my son's. I drove home, and then I cried.

15 Kids Who Want To Play:

Kristina P. said...

You do so much for other people, Jo. You really are inspirational.

Lisa said...

And now I cry too. That is so unbelievably sad. I am so grateful you can see her, touch her. I am sure on some level she feels the love you have for her.

I am so sorry.

Debbie said...

You have such a generous heart.

Holly said...

You are such a wonderful addition to this little girl's life. Just knowing she is loved and you are visiting. It always makes me sad too when I see precious little ones who need a Mama...

Me said...

You are so generous..so giving! I truly look up to you.

I think I might have a few things and want to contribute. I will send you and email...

Torina said...

The kids and I can make her a quilt! You have my email if you are interested :)

Jessica G. said...

Come here, Jo...I'll hold you!
Are softer clothes (like sweats) better? I will bring some things when I see you in a couple weeks!

Jami said...

Oh I have lots of size 3Ts. Email me.

Bonnie the Boss said...

Let me look and I can bring it to the blog lunch next week! I plan on scouring the stoage space this week!So I know I will find stuff!

Amber said...

That is heartbreaking.

littlebear said...

I can't believe nobody... the child protective service people, the hospital, or anyone... doesn't provide things like that for her! I will look at the Goodwill by my house. They always have lots of cool, gently used things. I get Little Bear and Pufferfish things from there all the time. Does she look around, can she use her hands, things like that?
ALSO... this just occurred to me. You could have her listed on a site called Hugs And Hope. If you or someone else could be her contact person for things to be mailed to her, its a site where people send cheerful letters, gifts, etc to kids with serious illnesses. I'm sure she would qualify and maybe that would help. She would certainly recieve things like blankets, clothes, toys, and lots of pictures and stuff to brighten up her room!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Oh, Jo. Your post brought me to tears. I have a ton of stuff that I could contribute. I'll go through clothes and toys and see what I can dig up.

It is the very least I can do for someone who gives as much as you do. When you have a chance, drop me a line, 3bay.b.chicks@gmail.com. Let me know where I can send my package.

-Francesca

Lauren/Paxton said...

i sent you an email. i want to help her. thank you for sharing her with everyone and giving us the opertunity to help her.

Laura in L.A. said...

Jo, what a great idea! I'm going to email you so that I know where to send my care package.

Love, Laura

K J and the kids said...

I can imagine how this is weighing on your mind. It's weighed on my mind since you posted about her.

I just happened to have girl 3T clothes that I'd LOVE to donate.
I'll contact you with the when and where part.

p.s. did I tell you how amazing you are ? :)