Friday, June 04, 2010

The Abyss

Crazy week and it got crazier. I have been wanting to show off my pictures and stories from the Casual Bloggers Conference, but instead, I am crawling here to share my hurt.
It is a long story, but to keep it short, Little Man is in an after school program. It is a therapeutic program for people with disabilities. They also run the summer program he attended the last three summers.
We have heard nothing but how great he is doing, with an occasional off day. How much they love him, etc.
We got called yesterday to come pick him up early, he was losing it. As we interrupted our Buttercup's first birthday party to handle this, we were told he was no longer welcome in the program.
I was told that maybe we need to put him on more meds, since whatever he is on, isn't helping with his behaviors.
I was told that 3 parents had said that their children would not be going to the summer program if Little Man attended.
I was told that they had staff complaining and threatening to quit because of my boy.
Why all of a sudden? Why hadn't they talked to us? I can't believe it is happening, particularly on the brink of my leaving!
Last night I was angry, confused, hurt and ultimately just plain heartbroken.
I feel like I am standing on the edge of an abyss. Is this the beginning of the end? Is he going to become so violent and out of control that we can't take care of him? How am I supposed to deal with this?
First I scrambled to find something for him for while I am gone, so Bald Man can work, and then I cried and cried.
I woke up this morning, and the grief hit me first, then the realization of what we are facing.
I asked my husband if he was emotionally hungover and he said when he woke up, he wondered why he felt so sad. It feels like someone had died. We are mourning. Not bodily death, but death of hope and dreams.
I love this boy, more than I can tell you. He is my miracle child, he is my heart, and yet, the pain is lingering underneath a huge question mark for the future.

P.S. Legally we have 30 days where they have to take him. I don't know about you, but I can not send my vulnerable child, who can not defend himself, to where he might be mistreated. Not physically, but if they were to be unkind and impatient with him, it would be harmful to him. We have made some short terms arrangements, and his Waiver Case Manager is helping us look for something else.

15 Kids Who Want To Play:

Megan said...

I'm so terribly sorry - that's such a horrible thing to spring on you. I'm sending happy thoughts and good wishes your way.

Lee said...

{{{{{{{{{{jo}}}}}}}}}I can't believe that a pgm designed to handle differently abled kids would handle this is that manner. I wouldn't send my child back during the waiver period either, but at some point when the dust settles can you use your most excellent writing skills to flambe them in the newspaper or something?

Kristina P. said...

Oh, I'm so sorry, Jo. What a crappy situation. I hope it all works out.

Monica said...

Oh Jo, I know this rushes forward some things you were hoping were still far away. I wish I could give you a big, big hug and I hope you are able to enjoy your Tigger visit in spite of all the unneeded drama at home.

elizasmom said...

Oh god this is so tough to read. I'm so sorry.
I hope you find a solution, and boo on them for giving you no warning. That's pretty callous and stupid of them.

M-Cat said...

What a hard thing. I am so sorry.

You seem to be handling it much better than I. I think I would go with little man every day for the next 30 days and sit right with him.

Fingers crossed for things to work out

Sher said...

I'm so sorry Jo. It's so frustrating that you were blindsided by this.

I agree, if the problem was this bad, why didn't they talk to you up until now?

I'm sorry, I hope you work it out.
I'm here for you if you need anything.

Jami said...

Oh Jo! What a shock. I can't believe you weren't even warned or given a chance to help your sweet boy adjust to the change. I'm so sorry. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Marta said...

I hope you find another placement quickly, and no, I would not want to send him back there.

Anonymous said...

ARGHHHHH. This is not right. Not at all.

K J and the kids said...

That is not ok on so many levels.
First of handle it like this. They should be MUCH more sensitive about how they relay the message. They didn't need to go on and on about how EVERYBODY didn't want him around. they were quiting not taking their kids. That is mean and hurtful.
Second. they should have called you in and spoken with you about these issues. before they got to this point. and that is the point you need to make with them.
AFTER you find a much better place more suited for his needs.
Please don't lose hope. Please know that he is still a loving and sweet child who loves soccer and hugs and his family. Don't let this diminish his value and spirit. because he is a blessing and miracle. He's going to do just fine because he has you behind him, helping him through these hurdles.
Lots of luck and hugs Jo.

Sarah said...

Jo, this sucks for you! Its Ok to cry, I will call and cry with you OK.

Laura said...

oh, my Jo. What the heck??? No notice, just zero to sixty, just like that??? How very unprofessional, let's start with that. And they were unkind. No excuse for that.

Praying for a happy solution for our Little Man. Praying for a peaceful time for your husband during your trip, and praying for a blessed visit with Tigger and his folks for you.

Lots of love, Laura

Miss Melissa said...

While it sucks and the timing is atrocious, you and Bald Man and Little Man are going to be just fine. There is a place for him that will be a better fit for him. I second the suggestion that you use your bad-ass writing skills to fire off a letter to the paper letting the citizens of your town know what caring, compassionate and communicative staff they have on hand at Little Man's former after school program.

Me (aka Danielle) said...

Oh dear, Jo! I am sooo sorry! I think it's very poor of them to have not warned you (at least). Sending my love!