Monday, April 26, 2010

Mountain Monday

I'm Going to the CBC!

If you wanted to go but found out the conference was sold out, you are in luck! There are 75 more tickets on sale, so run and get yourself one!

Who knows? Maybe I am finding my blogging mojo again? It snowed last week a couple of inches and it is going to snow again on Weds, but we are not going to speak of that bit of ugliness. It is Spring, I insist, no matter what evidence there is to the contrary. There are far more signs of Spring than there are of lingering Winter, so pay the death throes of Winter no attention whatsoever.

There is Mr. Winter, saying "nanny, nanny" from the top of the mountains...

I have a thing about roads and landscapes. Something about them calls to my soul and I love them in every season.

I had starting taking a couple of adult ed photography classes in Feb. I, uh, never got to finish for some strange reason. So I took the last half of the classes recently. I enjoyed both of them, but the portrait class was my favorite. Here are a couple of my favorites from the class.

A fake "senior" portrait

A family picture.

Updates: Pygmy Child is still pregnant with Tigger, I remember vividly being overdue and my heart is with her at the end of her pregnancy. I continue to focus on going to be with her and my grandson in June, rather than the other. There is too much to be grateful for instead of mourning for what is lost.

My health. blah. and blech. After a lifetime of very low blood pressure, my blood pressure and heart rate have decided to take a sharp rise lately. I have been to the dr and the ER with no real answers. At this point, I just want to feel better. I was doing so much better a couple of weeks ago than I am now. My high blood pressure makes me tired and headachy. This Thursday I am getting fitted with a holter monitor to see if I am having any heart irregularities. Honestly, I just want to feel better and I have no idea what is going on, except I know when I don't feel well. BUT, I am still feeling WAY better than I was a couple of months ago, almost anything is an improvement from almost dead!
Thanks for dropping by, you know I love you all and I appreciate sticking with me through my lean season recently.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Check Me Out!

Not only am I attending the Casual Bloggers Conference

I'm Going to the CBC!

I'm Speaking at the CBC!

I am speaking!

You may check out my bio and gulp! picture of me at this link: Casual Blogger Speakers
I will wait while you go look, scroll down to the "J's" for Jo of course.

I looked at that picture and my first thought was, "Holy heck, I look Chinese!"
Living my entire life being something besides Caucasian, and living most of my life outside of Utah, I have accepted the fact I don't look white and that I look like "something else". The guesses have included, Hispanic, Asian, and Hawaiian, unless I am home on the reservation my family is from, in which case, they get the tribe right and even my family! Most impressive.

You must now watch this hilarious commercial. I insist. It is important.

Guess what? I have my new identity for living in Utah! I am racially ambiguous! Finally, a place for me. I am so happy!
And you know what else? I do have beautiful hair!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Mountain Monday

In case you hadn't heard, this is what Utah looked like 13 days ago, on April 6th. We got 8 inches of snow that day, much to all our horror.

It looks like that was Mother Natures last attempt to keep winter around, thank goodness!

Here is what my corner of the world looks like today.

It is hard to see unless you click on the picture and see it larger. But the green of Spring is creeping up the flanks of the mountains, chasing away Winter, while the rest of us cheer in delight.

Here the new leaves on the wild roses begin to unfold, while the winter's rose hips wither away.

I am not sure if you can tell, but Ms. Tenacious is gone. I like to think she decided that it was time to move on to another part of life, death is just a part of it, and letting go, a birth, not a tragedy.

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

Another sign that Spring is here, baby animals!

I am not sure what these thistles are really, but we call them porcupine eggs.

Soccer season is here! There are few things I love more than watching my Little Man play soccer. He really enjoys it and I love cheering for him and the rest of his team.

Thank you for letting me share my corner of the world with you. Seeing Spring through your eyes makes it all brand new.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Sabbath Musings

Very slowly getting back into my "old" busy life. It has been a strange experience. I told someone recently, that was like my life was a table. Filled from edge to edge with so many things. Some things I LOVE to do, like being with my grand babies and making Sunday dinner for my family. Some of the things that fill my table aren't as enjoyable, like taking Little Man in for blood draws and housework. But my table was full. One day a giant came along, swung their arm out and swiped everything off the table. Suddenly it was empty! There was nothing to do, no where to go. My days were "filled" with naps, dr appts for myself and nothing else. Bizarre to say the least.
As I am feeling better and better, I add things in, going to the store, doing laundry, Little Man's cares, housework, and of course, spending time with my precious grand daughters. I have an occasional off day. Friday and yesterday I was tired and headachy. So I took it easy. But I feel so very much better than I did 6 weeks ago.
So I am guessing the majority of you know that my precious Pygmy Child is due with my grandson who will be called Tigger on the blog, in April.

As every mom does, when my oldest was born, I dreamed of all of her firsts, proms, graduations, weddings and of course, babies.
As a retired midwife, childbirth is a big deal in my little world. I have had the honor to attend hundreds of women and the fathers of babies as they welcomed a precious new soul into their family. I have never gotten over the wonder and the miracle of the moment that new baby enters into this world. Everything changes. Childbirth changes you. And while I know that not every woman will receive the gift of giving birth themselves, (they have other miracles in store for them) that does not make the wonderment of childbirth any less precious or wonderful.
Of course I was going to attend my oldest daughter's childbirth! So many asked me if I was the midwife, but I said no. I don't want to midwife my grand babies. When I am in baby catcher mode, I have to stay in my higher functioning mind, and my thoughts are not generally about the miracle, but more along the lines..."is she bleeding too much? What is the baby's APGAR? Is the placenta ready? How do the baby's lungs sound?" Only as a helper, would I be able to fully enjoy supporting my daughter and her husband in the birthing process and then to give myself total permission to immerse myself in the wonder of my new grandson.
I have known for a while, but I haven't been able to bring myself to share my bad news with the world in general, because it hurt so much. My doctor told me I would not be healthy enough to travel until May or June. AFTER my grandson is due. I cried a thousand tears over it. It broke my heart. I waited to cry until after I told my daughter the bad news, and I made her promise not to cry.
I woke up the next morning, so sad and heavy of heart, to this email from her....

Mom, please don't be sad. I know you really wanted to come and of course I wanted you here too but I cannot feel regret after almost losing you. Remember you have already given me all the tools I need to bring Tigger into this world. Through your example I've learned to trust my body, believe in my power to give birth, and rely on my maternal instincts. I have recieved these gifts at your side over the years and although you will not be with physically, your essence, your love and encouragment are already a part of me. Thank you for teaching me and showing me this path less traveled. I know the Lord's hand is in this. I am not disappointed with the way things are going. I know He is guiding our paths to give us each exactly what we need. The scripture Proverbs 3:5-6 comes to mind: Trust in the Lord with all thine bheart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
I love you mom. I am so grateful you are healing and that I will see you sooner rather than later. Love, Pygmy Child & Tigger.

Precious words, what mom would not feel lifted when they received a letter like that from her daughter? Balm for my hurting heart.
I read them again and again, so I can be comforted and know I am with her, even though I am far away in a physical sense. No distance in the universe could keep us apart, our love binds us. I am blessed.
This journey has been far from easy, but I am learning so much and every day, I am grateful I am still here, and getting better.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Happy Birthday

to me!
Sharing my birthday with Easter this year leaves me keenly aware of how very blessed I am to celebrate today. With the promise of spring and eternal life, I am just so grateful to still be on the planet. All my grand babies are coming over tonight for my birthday, who could ask for a better present?