Saturday, March 17, 2007

And the Bad Mommy Award Goes to.....

ME! Oh my word, this afternoon goes down in my top five worst days of my life. Let me start at the beginning. Pea and Princess were over visiting, and we thought the weather was sooo beautiful,( a balmy 72 degrees) we would take Pea and Little Man to the park. It was a great idea until we decided to leave. I bent down to put the water bottle in the bag and pick up the bag. Yeah, in that amount of time, Little Man disappeared! The first few minutes were not too bad, he wanders anyway, but he has never been heartstoppingly lost before. Until today. After fifteen minutes of me and the Princess looking for him and not finding him, I was completely panicked. This is a child who can't reliably tell you his whole name and certainly doesn't know his address or phone number. And he can't cross a street safely and he doesn't get worried when he is away from me, and there is a small river running next to the park, and oh too many things going through my head, first and foremost, what a horrible mmother I am for losing my austistic son. I found a policeman, and told him my son who is autistic is lost. I called Bald Man and confessed. I found a group of teenagers who weren't doing anything and asked them too. Bald Man called the people in our ward who also turned out and looked too. After an incredibly harrowing 45 minutes, he was found, safe and sound. In fact, seemingly unaware that he was lost or anything at all was wrong. He was found by that group of teens, God bless them forever and forever. Little Man has a gps unit, but this was the first nice day of the year and the unit isn't charged and honestly I didn't even think about it, because we haven't ever lost him at the park before. This will be the last time we take him out without it. What a day.

7 Kids Who Want To Play:

Jane said...

Ohhhh....I can only imagine your feelings.....Thank God it all turned out OK.

Liza said...

I still say you are being way too hard on yourself. Plenty of perfectly good, smart, and also human mothers misplace kids of all descriptions, and anyone who has had more than two mobile children for more than a few months will either tell you their version of this story or else lie and/or keep their mouths shut, although they're not all nearly this terrifying. I told you about my middle one going poof right inside my own home the other day. Kids are sneaky. Autistic kids are really sneaky. And if you were that bad of a mother you wouldn't have sounded so utterly wretched when you called me this afternoon. Bald Man said you were asleep and I am glad. In fact, I hope you took one of Little Man's ativan. If not, you're a far better woman than I am.

Granny said...

Liza's right. I have my own version of the story of when my own 3 oldest were little.

When I almost lost one to San Francisco traffic while trying to hold onto a stroller with the other two, I put the oldest on a clothesline. I got some stares and some comments but I figured better safe than dead until she outgrew her urge to run out in the middle of downtown Market St. I didn't have enough hands.

Yondalla said...

When Andrew was three he hid in a neighbor friend's closet. He did not come out when they went in to call him, or when I did, or when the parents did. No one actually opened the closet because we did not realize he was playing HIDE AND SEEK. Every parent in the neighborhood was looking for him and I was one the phone crying to the police crying when he came home looking triumphant.

Talk about mixed feelings!

Should I kill him first and then hold him, or the other way around?

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

OMG, I can imagine how TERRIBLE that feeling was, 45 minutes is long and DON'T be so hard on yourself! Kids are so quick and sneaky!

As your comments show, this happens to most parents!

Priscilla Pseudonym said...

I know you can't help feeling totally responsible for Little Man's escape, because that's what good mommies do. No one can convince us that we aren't at fault when the kids get lost--literally or figuratively.

The only thing that helps me is to envision an angel riding around on each one's shoulder, 'cause they sure get themselves in trouble from time to time. Forgiving myself for what may or may not have been within my control is another story; I'm still working on that.

(((hugs))) to all of you, and I'm so glad L.M. is safe and comfy.

Manuela said...

Oh, you poor poor thing... what a horrible fright you must have had! I'm so glad all are safe and sound, and now want to seriously give you heck for being so HARD on yourself!!! You are an amazing mom, and from what I gather, kids can wander off in an INSTANT! Unless you have three spare sets of eyes in your head it's just not possible to keep your eye on him every single second.

Again, glad all is well.

Hugs to you, Jo.