Monday, August 21, 2006

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, Day!

What an incredibly horrible day I had folkies! GGGRRRR! Little Man's summer program was done last Thursday. So nothing, friday, sat, sun and now mon! Do you realize what this has meant??? Oh way too much togetherness. Today sucked in a huge way. I about lost my mind with this child's repetitive questions. I had to take him with me to the store and post office to run errands. I thought, oh it couldn't be that bad, could it? Oh stupid me. I needed to mail off Caer's ratty hatties to her, (I finished them yesterday, that was fun!) I would post pictures, except I want her to be surprised when she gets them. I fended off Little Man's grabbing the envelope and trying to write HIS name on it, oh, about 100 times. Then we went to Wal-Mart.
How many times do you think he asked in his anxious, autistic way if someone was going to steal our car? Oh too many to count and enough for me to ask the clerk at Wal-Mart when she asked me if I found everything I needed if they sold guns at that store. Not for him! For me! To put me out of my misery. I decided that we really didn't need a new microwave today, at least not til Bald Man got home, because there is NO WAY I could go to another store with that child!
Plus he needed blood tests today. Oh my good word. What a nightmare that was. He kicked a lady in the face, he bit me, hit, bit and kicked a couple of other people, I think it took six people to hold him down. That was ssoooo bad. He has never been that awful before. He also was a monster trying to get him out of the hospital, he dug his nails into my arm until my arm bled and I was ready to strangle him. Seriously people it was a good thing I was in a public place because I was soooo ANGRY with him. We are trying another medication to help calm him. One that sometimes has the opposite effect on children. I will never give him that drug again. Terrible horrible no good very bad day here. Right now, I am going to dump this kid with his dad, I am going to go buy a new microwave, a new book, take myself out to dinner and NOT come home until he is in bed! Oh and guess what I found out? He will NOT be starting school this week, or maybe not even next week. Oh my gosh, I really really need some help here or someone is NOT going to survive this whole deal.
********* Late Monday Night Update********
You guys are NOT going to believe this. I get home from shopping, (after making sure Little Man was in bed) and found out that someone had turned me into Child Protective Services!!! I want you to know I did NOT hit Little Man today. He was battling me every single step of the way out of the hospital. He was mouthing off, physically being impossible, I literally had to push or pull him every blessed step out to the car. And oh yes, I was angry, very angry! Angry, embarrassed and scared by how he was acting. He has never done anything like this before at a blood draw or been that awful in public before. All I could think, was what am I going to do? How am I going to get through another day like today. Can I do it? And then this was the capper for a really awful day. This day goes down as one of the worst days of my life, honestly. I have been crying for hours. I must say the worker was very nice and understanding, compassionate even. She said, well people saw what they saw going through the hall at the hospital, but none of them have taken on a child like yours, bothered to adopt and care for such a special needs child. And my two cents: Why the heck didn't they offer to help me get him out the car? They can take their judgement and their perfect children who would never act like that and put it... grrrr, somewhere! I am scared, really scared. What are we going to do if we can't take him anywhere anymore? I will call his shrink's office tomorrow, we have got to change things. Please tell me tomorrow will be better!

4 Kids Who Want To Play:

Jenny said...

I hear you. You are a saint. You know this.

Liza said...

Aw, crap, Jo. I'm sorry you had such a wretched day. When I have a rock-bottom day like that, I comfort myself by thinking (either with sarcasm or desperation, take your pick) that at least it HAS to go up from there.

And I don't know who has those perfect kids, and not that I'm comparing a run-of-the-mill two-year-old tantrum to what you are dealing with, but the other day my middle son was throwing a real doozy of a fit on the way out of the shoe store...screaming until he gagged, snarling gutturally, windmilling his little arms at me when I approached him to pick him up bodily and take him to the minivan by brute force (I usually leave a tantruming child on the ground to sort it out until they are ready to give up, but he just kept...on...going until I threw in the towel and decided to physically remove him)...I picked him up and carried him, kicking me with both brand-new shoes, while pushing the stroller with my other hand (couldn't strap him in there because it's a twin and he can reach the baby from his seat, and would have, maybe not intentionally but just as collateral damage, probably bashed his brother's sweet, curly lilttle head in) and barking at the five-year-old to OPEN. THE. DOOR. so we could get the hell out of there...I got everyone out to the minivan, and when I went to strap the two-year-old into his carseat he did that thing where they arch with incredible strength and you just don't know why they're so frigging strong...and I just HAD to get him out of my arms, so that I could have a breather and so that I wouldn't just drop his mean little ass half-by-accident. So I ended up using one knee to (steadily and with no more force than was required, but STILL) force his body to bend at the waist and allow me to click the buckles shut on him and contain his furious, napless self in the carseat, and midway through that exercise it occurred to me that if the parking lot at the mall had surveillance cameras I could end up on the news.

Is there going to be some kind of investigation now? I'm reminded of when the senate asked Socrates what HE thought a just punishment for his "crimes" would be, and he suggested a lifetime of free meals at the local dining establishment. You should get a week in Hawaii, at the very least (ALONE).

Jo said...

Thanks Liza and Jenny, I so needed to hear both things. I feel so utterly wretched right now.

Granny said...

I'm sorry I'm so late getting here. Yesterday got away from me.

Poor child and poor you. I hope today has been better.

Rebecca has some of that but not nearly to that degree and she seems to be outgrowing it somehow. But there were times at home when if someone who didn't know saw two of us restraining her arms and legs to keep her from hurting herself, they'd probably be on the phone to CPS as well.

And Liza, I had that arching thing you described as well. It's awful and frightening.