Thursday, August 17, 2006

Today

Today I am not angry, today I am just so sad. Last night I dreamed something, (I don't remember what) and I just sobbed and sobbed in my dream. The tears I can't allow myself today. Perhaps someone out there has some wisdom for me, to help me disengage from my children's choices and yet still love and rejoice in them. I have such a hard time when they do stupid things, things that seem so obvious to Bald Man and I as really bad decisions. They don't see, and I know they have to take their own paths in life, but it is just so hard when you CAN see it is not a great idea and they just won't listen. I find it impossible (so far) to distance myself emotionally in one area and not another of their lives, well particularly with Princess. She has depended on us, especially me, this last year, as a single parent, financially, emotionally, physically. When she was sick, she came home, I put her to bed and took care of the Pea, more than once. When she was upset or struggling, she came to me also. I feel so kicked in the face by her deceit and cruelty with Pinhead, (ha, I have always said he had a small head anyway! So Pinhead he is until he proves himself a man to our family), I feel used for her own ends. When things are tough I always want to run away, and this time is no different. I wish it was November and that we were moving to MO. Thank goodness Little Man has summer camp today, because I really need some space. Good thing I don't have any money or I would spend it! Good thing I have a couple of dollars if I want to see a movie and eat popcorn. Good thing I have you guys, you give me strength.

2 Kids Who Want To Play:

CaerLiveSound said...

I'm sending you all the strength I can today! It's going to be okay, Jo- it will work out. Keep yer chin up and hug a rat!

Jenny said...

Where was I on Thursday darn it!?

I’ve been in a crap relationship before and my mother could do nothing about it. Here is my advice.

1. Never insult him in front of her – it will force her to defend him to you
2. Always lead by example – she will see how a relationship SHOULD be
3. The quicker she gets to the bottom of this hole the sooner she will decide to dig out or ask for a ladder, don’t slow her decent.
4. Keep an eagle eye on Pea and do not hesitate to yank that child out of her home – grown people can make their own bad decisions Pea cannot and if it’s warranted Princess will be secretly relieved
5. Breath.
6. Know you are doing everything you can and it is the right thing because you do it with your heart.

Much love from IL.