Thursday, April 26, 2007

The Vile Olympics*

In Which Jo Neither Receives Nor Desires to Receive a Gold Medal.

Today's Events:
Shower Wrestling. Only one participant is naked, although the warm up exercises can include a thorough work out getting the main character undressed. Extra points given for drenching the judge.
Little Man's score for this event today: 9 on a scale of 10. He lost a point due to no throwing of formula because he refused to drink it! He is working on placing and winning this week.
100 Yard Bus Dash: Involved much hollering on the part of the judges, because the main participant was almost disqualified from this event by way of almost missing the bus. Points: 9 out of 10, because he had both parents yelling at him to HURRY UP, you are going to miss the bus, plus the added fun of trying to hurry a child who is yelling at you and trying to scratch you. An exciting event every day, but always leaves the judges worried that one of them is going to drop dead from either a heart attack or frustration.
The Telephone Relay: A required event for all parents. Points:5 out of 10. I only made 5 phone calls and only was requested to participate in one phone tree. Press 1 if you know which party you are calling. Press 2 if you are stupid. Press 3 if you wish to have a samurai warrior come to your house and lop off your head. I chose 3.
Other events are being covered by another reporter in the field.

*Unlike other sports, participation in the Vile Olympics is not voluntary. In fact a certain amount of hand wringing, bemoaning the fates and cursing your karma are a required part of your involuntary servitude.

5 Kids Who Want To Play:

Heather said...

Bath time is a struggle for us since our two year old decided that having water poured over his head was worse than having boiling acid poured on him. It came suddenly and now, every hair-washing is like trying to restrain a wild animal just long enough to give it a shot. It's horrible... And our 9 month old laughs just about every time. Joy...

elizasmom said...

Oy. Sorry 'bout that. Hope you give whomever signed up up for the Vile Olympics a good talking to, because that sounds unpleasant.

Bored in Vernal said...

Jo, It was Awesome to meet you at the FMH Bloggersnacker. We have soooo much in common. I had 2 of my births at home, and I tandem nursed my first two. I wish I had more time to talk to you. We will have to get together sometime. email me-- clbruno at hotmail.

Jenny said...

You are crackin' me up

Melissa said...

Oooh ooh ooh! We used to have that here all the time!

Thank God (heck, thank ALL the gods in ALL the religions and knock some wood as long as I'm at it) that he grew out of it. Mostly.