The Year in Review

This is going to be a lame post! But I felt I needed to say something about the end of 2006 and the beginning of the new year.
Bad News and Good News
Bad news:First and foremost, we were supposed to move to St. Louis, where I could pick up my very full ride scholarship at the #2 rated Grad school for Social Work. Where am I instead? In an apartment of all things, still in Utah.
Good news: I am near my beloved Little Pea. And our newest soon to be grand baby.Here she is last Christmas, only 4 months old and sitting up soooo well!

I miss my cats, I miss my house, but ya gotta love central air conditioning, high speed internet and cable TV.
While we are still unsure of what will happen, we had to re-sign our lease, so we are here til August. After that, who knows?
Bad news: The last week of May, JJ (age 17 now) had a seizure and they found a large brain mass.
Good news: It isn't a brain tumor. We did see the neuro last week and we will get the results from the latest MRI fairly soon. Whether or not medical science has developed a way to do micro surgery on the very, very small brains of teenagers is a question we have yet to ask.
Bad News: Little Man was hospitalized in Sept.

Good News: Hey it was the ONLY time in 2006! That is a record. For the last few years it is usually three or four times. So Whoot!
Bad news: With his weight loss, we will be lucky to make it through Jan without a hospitalization for the insert of the dreaded g-tube.
Good news: Hey he won't starve and that is not a small something.
Bad News: Little Man had a horrific summer.
Good News: We survived it and it is over.
I got a trip to Cali and a trip to South Dakota to visit my family this year. That was super.
We are on a list for extra funding in Jan, we will most likely get it and that means we will get respite hours. Good news that!

While things could be better at Chez Tangled, things could have been much, much worse. I will take the good news, try not to focus on the bad. I found good friends on the internet, and I have good friends and family in real life. I am not going to cry that 2006 is over, but I am sure looking forward to 2007.
I don't believe in making resolutions, but if you do, I hope you do a good job with them this year. I hope your new year brings dreams come true in your life. Thanks my bloggy friends, you have been a great part of the last year.

Up In Smoke

I suppose I should be more grateful that nothing terrible happened, but honestly I am just so heartsick at what is lost, I don't have any room for gratitude right now.
Checklist of GONE:
1.My new sheets. They were over 90$, high thread count and were the nicest sheets we have ever owned. I have had them less than a month.

2.Our mattress, fairly old, but in good shape still and we just don't have the many dollars it would cost to replace it.
3. King Size Comforter, less than a year old

What caused it? My reading light that I have been refusing to use until Bald Man put it on the wall, because I thought it got WAY too hot to use reading in bed.


The culprit?

My innocent boy who is so clueless as to what happened. There is nothing to even say to him. He can't understand why this light was so much more dangerous than the other lamps on our house. Disaster is just one step away and he really needs to be watched very closely.
Little Man turned on the lamp, left it on the bed and then went into another room. Bald Man caught it before it actually erupted into flames, which is the ONLY bit of good news in this fiasco. A HUGE piece of good news, but as I said, I am having a hard time being grateful. I am just utterly aware we don't have the money to replace those things and heartsick over it. Poof.

Weird Dream

I had such a strange dream last night. Should have been a nightmare, but my feelings in my dream kept it from being such. I believe what is real about our dreams is our feelings in them, and they reveal a great deal about what we really think and feel about things.
I dreamt that bad people killed my husband. We, (I know I was with someone else, but can't remember who) were going in the building where I knew they had killed him, to see what had happened. In the doorway, inside the building, they had hung Bald Man and it was obvious to me, that his body was lifeless. This is where it gets interesting though, dream wise. I was upset that he was dead, but the feelings that were bigger than my sorrow was my deep seated knowledge that we would be together again. I kissed his lips, said goodbye softly and with the most bitter sweet sorrow, said I would see him again soon, wait for me. And I knew, he would be waiting for me when I got there.
I really do believe in an afterlife and I know that love is bigger than anything else.

Post Holiday Wrap Up

We had a very nice Christmas here Bloggy dears. I hope yours was full of laughter and love too. It was just nice, the kids were really good so there wasn't any fussing or fighting, and honestly? As a parent to 6 kids, all I want is some peace! And there was.

Note the red circled area, devoid of all ornaments. This was courtesy of our Little Pea and I am sure she would have de-ornamented the entire lower 1/4 of the tree if it had been up longer. The joys of little ones.
Here is some Christmas cheer


I love Little Man's face, cause he just looks happy.
Princess kept getting comments on her nice rack, by not just her brothers, but even her dad!





The Princess's rack:


What Christmas would be complete without the joy and wonder of a child? Ours was complete and now yours is too.


Hope your holidays are filled with all that you want as this year rounds out to 2007.

My Christmas Present for You

Here are the Christmas presents I am giving to you. If you don't celebrate Christmas, (I know I have an international following, know that I still am gifting you with these things at this time of year)
Laughter. You will laugh and feel the release and joy of a good laugh.
Love. You will reminded in the next couple of days, that you are loved, not by just one person, but many hold you in their hearts and care for you.
Gratitude. You will be able to be thankful for gifts, both material and those not able to be held in your hands.
Peace on Earth and Good will to all men and I mean it with all my heart. My bloggy buddies have become an intregal part of my life and I am thankful for each and every one of you. Happy Holidays.
Your Jo

Christmas Prep

Get Your Own! | More Flash Toys

Isn't that the cutest thing? You can even leave me a present, so feel free.
I have a TON of Christmas shopping yet to do. I am sorely annnoyed at JJ. Let me start at yesterday, before I got annoyed. He had a appointment with the neurologist, (remember the large brain mass?) and found out that his recent hearing loss could be linked to a growth in the same said mass. Great. Day after Christmas, JJ has another MRI to check out what is going on. Yay. I let him have a friend sleep over. I am not kidding you, they stayed up ALL NIGHT! GRRRR. They woke me up at 6:30 this morning. I am not a happy momma. Even more annoying, he is supposed to watch Little Man so I could get my Christmas shopping done. What is he doing right now? Sleeping. Double GRRR. That is the end of the sleep overs. Bald Man and I are DONE. Teenagers. Sheesh.
I do love Christmas shopping though, late or not, it is fun, so once I get out of the house, I will be fine.

And a bit of merry making here:
Peter is not a partridge and it isn't a pear tree, but it is a rather merry Christmas picture.
Peter in the Christmas Tree

You Just Got Lucky!

Little did my Bloggy Cream Puffs know what they were in for when they began to read my blog. Ups and downs, the aesthetically pleasing and the seamy underside. And today, well today is a special day. Today is the day I share with you one of my favorite Christmas traditions, one that my family concludes is it NOT Christmas without and in fact would refuse to celebrate this much vaunted holiday without. Everyone always wants to be Jo's friend at this time of year because of this incredibly delectable mouthful. My gift to you this season, I am sharing with you, not just the ingredients, but the should be patented method of making:

Jo's World Famous, Better than Brown and Haley's Almond Roca!

1 cup butter
1 1/3 cups sugar
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
3 tablespoons water
1 cup coarsely chopped, toasted almonds,
1 bag milk chocolate chips
1 cup finely chopped, toasted almonds


Melt butter in a large saucepan. Add sugar, corn syrup, and water. Cook over medium heat, stirring now and then, to hard-crack stage (290 F on your candy thermometer) - (Don’t let it scorch!) watch carefully after temperature reaches 280 F. Quickly stir in coarsely chopped nuts; spread in well-greased 13x9 inch pan. Let the candy sit until barely firm, just a minute or two. Spread ½ bag of milk chocolate chips on the top, cover the candy with aluminum foil to keep the heat in. When the chocolate chips are shiny, spread with the back of tablespoon, (don’t lick it yet, you need it for the other side!) Sprinkle ½ cup of finely chopped almonds, press in. Turn out on waxed paper;(you might need to pry it out with a knife, it will still be flexible) spread top with the other half the chocolate chips; Cover with the pan to keep the heat in, when the chips are shiny, spread with the spoon, (when you are done with this part, you may now lick the spoon!) sprinkle with ½ cup of the finely chopped nuts. If necessary, chill to firm chocolate. Break into pieces.

Makes 1, 13x9 pan

Serves: 1 (but it is nice to share)

Celebrate and enjoy the holidays.

I Have Been Tagged!

Oh my very first time to be tagged for a meme! Thanks to Eliza's Mom for the tag. Now five things you didn't know about me:


1. I lived in Europe for my young childhood, I have been to France, Germany and lived in Italy for 3 years. But I don't remember much of it.
2. I used to speak fluent Italian.
3. When we lived on the reservation, we lived in a trailer with no running water and used an outhouse.
4.I was almost kidnapped when I was 7 years old. They never found the two little boys I was with.
5. I have walked on fire! more than once!

Now tagged in return: Pixie, Jenny,Priscilla and Melissa

The Days Fly

And another Mountain Monday is upon us. This post is a bit later than I had wanted it to be, but Pygmy Child was writing one last paper and I needed to wait until she was finished. I can't believe my little girl is leaving tomorrow to embark on her new life. The next time she comes back here will be for her wedding prep. The upside of waiting so long is my Bloggy Puffs get to see my mountain with the rosy sunset glow upon her flanks. Tell me what you think:

Pretty amazing, huh? Love those Utah mountains.
Speaking of wedding prep, Pygmy Child designed the pattern and I will be carrying out the beaded design on her veil.
The Pea thought she would be helpful by modeling the before picture




And lastly, Little Man has eaten really well this weekend. Doesn't fix anything, but it should put us out of the danger zone until after Christmas! Whoo hoo!

Ups and Downs

I am trying to figure out where to start this so it is coherent and understandable for my bloggy readers.
Okay, we shall start with Thursday and the prescribing of the medication Periactin. Periactin if you go and read, can be used to increase appetite, which is great. After having a visit with Little Man's psychiatrist yesterday, we also found out it is a Serotonin antagonist which for Little Man turns out to be very, very bad. If you don't know what mania is, you are welcome to come borrow Little Man for a few days while he comes down from this drug induced insanity. He is WILD! Bouncing off the walls crazy. He didn't sleep last night and he is belligerent and a bit violent. Uh,yeah, no more Periactin.
The good news? His weight loss has turned around a bit, he is up 2 pounds, so that gives us some room to breathe.
Fun, fun fun in the Tangled House today. Poor Bald Man, he is so tired, since he was the chosen one to stay up with Little Man last night.
Smootches to all of you and I hope your holiday prep is going better than mine.

Cool Quiz

Really, go take it. And then tell me the results. Please?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West   Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.
The Midland
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I Lied! (But not on purpose)

Sorry, before I could get a post up yesterday, Pygmy Child was over and we were gadding about town doing wedding prep shopping. I ran, ran, ran yesterday, and then fell asleep putting Little Man to bed. And that was the end of my day. So for your viewing pleasure, mountains! Not the usual ones, but other ones, not too far from my house. Because now I can not see a beautiful mountain shot without thinking of you, my Bloggy Dears.









ENJOY!!

Preempted

***Mountain Monday will be moved to Tuesday this week, due to a celebration.****

And the cause for this celebration? Princesses' 24th birthday. I could write a whole novel about that child, she has been a feisty, unusual child from birth. But I will keep it short for my audience.
Princess was my first home birth. After my doc tried to schedule me for a c-sec saying I would never deliver a baby bigger than 6 lbs, I decided there must be something better. And there was. I loved my homebirth and loved my sweet 8lb 4oz daughter. She followed her sister quickly, there is only 16 months between the two of them.

Her older sister was such an easy baby, Bald Man and I were quite sure it was because we were such good parents. Well God sent us Princess to humble us. She was such a fussy baby. She really didn't stop fussing until she learned to crawl at 5 months. She was even happier when she learned to walk at the precocious age of 7 months. People would stop us in the streets, exclaiming at what a small child she was and walking!

Headstrong and spirited, she kept her parents on their toes. She was always curious and got into everything. From buttering the table to criscoing the tent, she dropped 10 lbs of honey on the floor and then threw oatmeal into it. She ate everything and Poison Control knew her by name. I am surprised I didn't go gray by the time she was three. She was convinced she could run faster than cars and would pull her hand out of mine and dart across the street to announce, "I told you I could run faster than the car!"
Two things she didn't do early, grow hair and talk. She finally talked and grew hair at about 2 1/2 years.
One of our favorite Princess stories had to do with her imaginary friends. She was not three yet. Her friends were Pele, the mom, John the son and KiKi, the dad. We had gone camping and were warned to watch out for the skunks.
Princess pipes up, "Gunks? Where are the gunks? I see a gunk! There in that tree. That is where gunks live. You know, Pele and John have a pet gunk. It has no nose, so it can't smell." We almost all died laughing.
The Princess was born with the most loving heart. She has donated her hair 3 times to Locks of Love.

She has loved all of our foster children fiercely and cried bitterly when they left. She has been blessed with a sharp intellect and a beautiful singing voice. If I knew where they were, I would scan some of the newspaper pictures of her. She has been on TV and even won our local Fox singing competition to earn an audition with American Idol in Las Vegas!

Of all the gifts she has given me though, the most precious one of all is my little Pea. The Princess, in spite of her primpy ways, has turned into the most dedicated mother. She loves her sweet girl with all her heart and delights in her every day. The birth of the Pea has brought a new closeness and sweetness to the relationship between my daughter and me and I am grateful for the new road we travel together. Happy Birthday Princess. Life with you is NEVER boring!

Update

The GI doc's office called this afternoon. After two phone calls on my part for a follow-up. Nope, his gut is not full of poop. Good news that! Although the Nurse practioner did say he had an awful lot of gas. She wanted to know if he was getting any lactose, I said no, we don't let him have any milk, seeing as how he is allergic to it and all that...sigh.
I said I had ordered the Boost Breeze, which is one of the things they insisted we try, we are waiting for Walgreens to deliver it. I did say we doubted it would help, since he has plenty of formula here, but refuses to drink it. But we really must do what we can to help him.
And a clarification since Manuela asked
"But honey... what did you write yesterday that left you feeling vulnerable... I'm confused... your Doctor is an ass and you are worried about your child... did I miss something?"
I figure she might not be the only confused Bloggy Pudding. The reason why I dreamed I was naked in front of a group of people last night has to do with feeling so very vulnerable. This has to do with putting in words and speaking it publicly of the fears for my son. The horrible reality of certain death by starvation and possible death by infection. You have to realize the day to day fear we deal with. The non stop medical problems and crises. Very often Bald Man and I don't even talk about it, how scared we are. When Bald Man looked at me the other night and said that Little Man was having seizures again? He also said, "I feel like this is the beginning of the end." What do you say to your husband when he says that to you? My eyes filled with tears and I just tried to breathe. Still am. Trying to breathe, through the pain and the fear and the helplessness.
I hope that clarifies my fear and my sense of vulnerability. I told you what I haven't said to anyone, not my family, not my friends, not my husband. You know my heart.

Feeling Shy

Hey my Bloggity darlin's. I am feeling a wee bit weird right now about posting. I thoguht for a long time before I did that last post, then I did it and now I feel, um, rather sheepish, a bit embarrassed, and more than a little vulnerable. I guess that is why I dreamt last night that people saw me naked, because you did, my heart and soul.
Posting is a weird thing in terms of relationships, because you get to choose what you show people. About your life, about yourself. And until right now I hadn't realized that was one of the big draws for me, was choosing what you saw. And for the most part, what I say on here is the same stuff my closer friends know. But my friends in "real life" also get the bigger picture, because they get to see the uglier side of my life and the whole me.
What I told you yesterday is some of my deepest fears, even the stuff I won't admit to myself because it scares me so very much.
And yet, how kind you were to my naked, scared self. Thank you. And that is that, because if I go on, I will cry and I hate to cry.
Instead, let us end with something very cute!
Cuteness shields raised? (excuse the messy living room, it was picked up before my grand daughter arrived! She manages, as most small children do, to undo quicker than I can do!)

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Hawaiian Roller Coaster from Lilo and Stitch is one of Little Man's favorite songs and he and the Pea were just so darn cute dancing.

Gut Punch

Ya know when someone says something to you, and you feel like someone just punched you really hard in the gut? Ya, that's me. Been feeling that way for like a week now, only yesterday it got worse.
First gut punch. Little Man's appointment with the GI doc last Friday. He has now lost 10 pounds since the medicine debacle. He is still refusing his formula, still not eating enough to keep his weight up. We are just dang lucky he had some extra pounds to lose, because it is stretching out this inevitable part of his life.
Here is the news from the GI. And it was a horrible appointment. (Not Little Man though, I made sure to give him two of his happy pills before we went and he was such a good boy!)
GI:Mrs Tangled, we don't have any good answers here.
Me: I don't either!
GI: He either needs to eat or drink his formula
Me: (grinding teeth in frustration) Don't you think we are trying?
GI: Can't you fortify the calories he is getting?
Me: How in the world do I do that when he eats so little? It's not like I can just put peanut butter on it!
GI: What about his formula? Have you tried anything else?
Me: We can try again, but we have in the past. You do realize this has been a lifelong problem from infancy?
GI: Can you get him to poop more? Maybe his gut is so full that he isn't hungry.
Me: I asked you to do an xray last month to see if gut was too full, but you said no.
GI: Ignoring me completely and yelling out the door, " Mom is agreeing to an x-ray!"
(have I ever said no? And they still haven't called me back)
GI: A feeding tube is not a good option in his case with his immune problem
Me: (head exploding) Don't you think I already know that? What do you think we can do about this??
Bottom Line: 8 more pounds lost and we can no longer put off the feeding tube issue.
He will either face a certain slow death by starvation or possible death by infection and really? Both those options suck! He is currently losing a little more than a pound a week.
The second gut punch:
Bald Man turns to me yesterday and says, "Little Man was having seizures again this morning".
We had less than 8 seizure free weeks. I can hardly breathe.

Mondays Are My Favorite

While many people decry mondays as the worst day of the week, I am of the opposite opinion. Of course my love of mondays could be compared to the idiom of the hammer.
Don't ya love hitting yourself in the head with a hammer? It feels soooo good when you stop. And there ya go. Mondays rock because they are NOT the weekend.
Weekends are crazy, weekends involve a great deal of dealing with Little Man and all his various insanities, weekends are work. Mondays are on the other hand, a tremendous relief. Yay!
First, A chilly but beautiful Mountain Monday picture. The snow deepens.

It took winter a while to arrive, but when it did, oohhh boy, it got cold, and fast! It was in the 60's for Thanksgiving and down in the teens for the day after. The highs have been in the mid twenties lately, or even the low twenties. I have been spending a great deal of time wrapped up in blankets.
The update at the Casa Tangled for my Bloggy Buttercups.
Still no van for me. Bald Man will pick up the new tranny this afternoon and put it in tomorrow. Christmas shopping is calling my name, so I am anxious to get at it. One of the benefits to being home is getting my shopping done during the week, early in the day, before it gets crazy!
Ah, a funny from the work van fire.
Bald Man was driving, wondering where the smoke was coming from. Tank and Oldest Son were both in the van too. A person drives up next to them, frantically gesturing and pointing at the van. Bald Man rolls down his window and the other driver yells, "you are on fire!" Bald Man and sons pull over and attempt to put out the fire on the transmission. They were not having a lot of luck and decided to call the fire dept. Oldest Son looks at Tank and says, "What is the phone number for the fire dept?" Tank yells at him, "It's a fire, dude! Call 911!!!"
Pygmy Child and Brown Boy have decided she is flying to move to Florida and thereby avoiding a long road trip for her and me. Sadly, that means no road trip for her and me. I am a bit saddened, I was looking forward to it. A bit relieved too, because it was mighty close to Christmas. Why the child couldn't wait til after Christmas is beyond me, but you know kids, you will probably never really understand why they do what they do.
One last funny from Little Man. He was mightly upset to find out Pygmy Child was marrying Brown Boy. He told her she was supposed to marry him! It was very cute. I don't know what he is doing to do without her when she moves in a few weeks.
Hopefully this good Monday is a harbringer of good things to come this week, both for me and for you, my Bloggy Dearests!

When Does Your Birdy Need a Bath?

When they give themselves one! Silly, silly Meeko.