Seamy Underside

I started this blog as a way to be able to openly talk about things. Things that I couldn't usually. The only person who knows about the blog is Pygmy Child, and she isn't allowed to read. Now that you know a lil bit about my current life, this post goes to my "other" life. The one that happened before I made this family.
My parents were married in 1959.

My dad was in the army. My mom a resevation girl living in California with her sister. My dad turned out to be a real loser. A drunk, and a wife beater to top it off. My parents made 4 girls. One sister 1 year older than me( Terese), I am next, one sister 1 year younger (Jan) and the youngest by 3 years after me, (Anita) It was probably all the for the best that he was gone so much during the Vietnam War. To make a long story short, he left all of us, when I was 10. I never saw him again. He died about a year and half ago. Leaving all of his girls to mourn what would never be.
This leads me to my confession about how angry I am with my youngest sister Anita. We used to be so close, and I think that really is part of the hurt now. Through her divorce with her ex, I was there, always supportive and loving. She was remarried about 2 years ago and pissed my mother and my sister Janet off royally by acting like a spoiled rotten brat at her wedding.
Part of this story would be incomplete if I didn't mention that she is some sort of evangelic Christian. Hey, I am a Christian too, but not according to my sister, she knows we are all headed for hell, and in recent years has become very intolerant, smug, self righteous and quite the little hypocrite. I miss my sister, the one who I used to be close to, the one who was so loving to me. I miss her a ton.
This all leads into the fact that I will be seeing her in a month, and I am so angry with her. I kinda feel like I need to deal with this now, because I don't want to ruin our family celebration by getting into it with her.
My current gripe with her is over my dad's things. She was the only one with the resources to be able to attend his funeral. In the process she received a bunch of his stuff, which not only has no one else seen, we don't even know all of it. She says, well it isn't fair that the rest of you remember him, this is all I have. Oh I get so mad when I think of it. She was kind enough to scan some of the pictures and email those, but she has kept all the originals for herself. I despise her for her selfish brattiness! Here is what I think should be done: She should bring everything she has received to the family gathering in May and we four girls can sit down, sort through it and divy it up. Don't you think that would be the fairest thing? I am sure some of you are disappointed by how petty this is, and how mad I am about it, but what can I say, it is the way I feel. Thanks for letting me vent about it. That is a really important part to me sorting all of this out.