Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Balanced on a Knife Edge

I wish I could say things were better. They are not. Our son's psychiatrist apologized for the mix up over the long weekend. The on call nurse is the one at fault for not getting us to the on call doctor. She apologized too, but that doesn't help.
Little Man only slept 3 hours again last night and we are quickly reaching the end of our ropes here. The last five nights have meant he has slept about 15 hours total in five days. His behavior during the day continues in multiple melt downs requiring restraint to keep him from hurting us. I have a fat lip from a head butt and he also kicked Oldest Son in the face on Sunday. He pushed our sweet little Pea down too.
The shrink is giving one more really ugly drug a try. It is called thorazine. It is a very old anti psychotic and we are praying it helps him sleep tonight. It has some ugly side effects and I am not happy we are at this point. But it is our last hope. If it doesn't work and he doesn't sleep tonight, they are going to do an an inpatient psych unit admit. It kills me to even have to type those words. Mentally I don't think it will be very good for him, he won't understand, he only functions about about a 3 year old level and he will be very traumatized from it. But medically there is nothing left to do that we can do at home. I know it, but it is still so tough to even be brought this close to having to do this to our boy. Liza asks if life has gotten worse or did I just cover better in the past. No Liza, things are much worse than they used to be. I gotta quit before I start crying, cause I just can't cope with thinking or talking about this anymore. Thank you for the remarks and kind emails. They are a strength to me in this terrible time in our lives.

5 Kids Who Want To Play:

Gawdessness said...

Hugs and love to you all, I hope the Thorazine works - it is hell, truly to be in such a position and I hope and hope and hope that it all eases up.
You do what ya gotta do.

Jane said...

Taking your child to an inpatient psych ward is not fun. We had to do it three years ago. But if it has to happen, it will be because you have reached a point where you can no longer be sure Little Man is safe (mostly from himself) in your home. And it may be the best environment for him to be kept safe in, while his doctors are figuring out what meds can help. It took four hospitalizations and the better part of a year before Toots was stabilized, but it was worth it in the end.
God bless and good luck.

Jenny said...

Have faith in God and your fellow wo/man. Be assured the dear people that work at such places love their jobs (I know a few, they are saints). They will be educated and experienced and they will be trying to help. They are the extended family you wish had with the medical experience needed to care for him.

If he had cancer would you deny him a hospital stay for chemo? It's no different, you don't love him any less by getting him proper treatment.

Maybe you need a shoulder and I am telling you to be strong. I feel bad because you are up to your neck in this and I am just runnin' my yap through my keyboard. But, I am outside looking in through your blog and I can read the guilt and I want to remind you

You aren't doing this to your boy - the medical problems he has are.


Well here's hoping the Thorazine works and all his meds will learn to play nice with each other.

I know none of this helps you now. Nothing helps when you are waiting. Waiting just stinks.

Much Love from the big mouth in IL,

DDM said...

Jo, I am so sorry. I wish I could do something to ease YOUR pain. I'm thinking of you and your family, sending cyber hugs and good thoughts......

Granny said...

I've known people on thorazine and it's worked quite well. Perhaps it will help.